mastodon quixote @valrus@icosahedron.website

you’re all familiar with replacing words with numbers like “went 2 the store 4 some bread” but I want the deluxe version

“This carrier is 14ny little dogs only”
“I wrote this piece 42ned guitar”
“Isn’t that Beatles song Sexy S81derful?"
“I’ll finish this lev11tually”
“This fix was extremely str(8,4)ward”
“Buddy, listen to me. I’ve got like ten pounds of cabbages, pא‎₀ more"

Won't You Neigh, My Bieber?

toots so good people write me notes promising to buy me a drink, i call that chitposting

tired: free porn
wired: GNUdes

I’m not proud of it but I find grocery store minmaxing so fucking satisfying

this headline must read like you had a stroke halfway through it if you don't know the jargon https://www.theregister.co.uk/AMP/2018/06/14/microsoft_r_open_debian_dev/

but what about when there was only one set of footprints

if you fall on the ice in Paris is that a froidian slip

masculinity delenda est

sone people recommend you peel garlic by smashing it with the flat of a knife. this works, but I recommend an elbow drop

Seven Universe

Tired: Nietzsche
Wired: Kan’t

you can’t spell “discourse” without “disco”

I’m doing karaoke this Friday and they have Love Like You. Only one of the 12 other people there gives a damn about Steven Universe but I might have to do it anyway?

Power corrupts; Nintendo Power corrupts Nintendoly

the opposite of excel is incel

mastodon dot jpeg

mega man but replace "man" with "boy" in all the robot masters' names

also, mega boy

Update: still not happy, but comfy?

Still not happy