mastodon quixote @valrus@icosahedron.website

you’re all familiar with replacing words with numbers like “went 2 the store 4 some bread” but I want the deluxe version

“This carrier is 14ny little dogs only”
“I wrote this piece 42ned guitar”
“Isn’t that Beatles song Sexy S81derful?"
“I’ll finish this lev11tually”
“This fix was extremely str(8,4)ward”
“Buddy, listen to me. I’ve got like ten pounds of cabbages, pא‎₀ more"

me every day this week

Ok seriously though - today we decided we're going to get one of our cats euthanized. We only had her about two and a half years and she suddenly developed a cancer that's preventing her from eating. It's fucked and I feel completely wrung out right now.

in honor of the 4th of July, our cat is demonstrating solidarity with the United States of America by having cancer

Or, perhaps, in the course of reading a single one of these sentences, many of which nest subordinate clauses like Matryoshka dolls, one replicates the experience, as when consumed by a memory, of losing track of one's thoughts in the present during the descent into reverie?

So I'm about 50 pages into Swann's Way and why is every other sentence as long as an entire paragraph in a normal book. Is this just how they wrote novels in France in the 1910s? Or is there a literary purpose to it? I'd think it was going for a sort of impressionistic/hazy/indistinct memory vibe if these sentences weren't all so meticulously grammatically correct.

Force feeding your cat makes you feel like the absolute worst person alive.

Won't You Neigh, My Bieber?

toots so good people write me notes promising to buy me a drink, i call that chitposting

tired: free porn
wired: GNUdes

I’m not proud of it but I find grocery store minmaxing so fucking satisfying

this headline must read like you had a stroke halfway through it if you don't know the jargon https://www.theregister.co.uk/AMP/2018/06/14/microsoft_r_open_debian_dev/

but what about when there was only one set of footprints

if you fall on the ice in Paris is that a froidian slip

masculinity delenda est

sone people recommend you peel garlic by smashing it with the flat of a knife. this works, but I recommend an elbow drop

Seven Universe

Tired: Nietzsche
Wired: Kan’t

you can’t spell “discourse” without “disco”

I’m doing karaoke this Friday and they have Love Like You. Only one of the 12 other people there gives a damn about Steven Universe but I might have to do it anyway?