taking the naan to work and realizing too late you don't have any butter :ok_hand:
It comes about in a very real way, for me, being told about my shortcomings, how hard I am to relate to, how deceitful I am, how apathetic and bitter I am -- it really wears me down. I try to make it into change, borne out of a desire to be better, but the whole time it just feels like salt in so many cuts. I don't feel like a person anymore, just a collection of flaws.
I can't be proud of myself in a real way if I'm constantly haunted by the feeling that I could do so much better.
Nightmares and Self-Loathing, cont'd.
I can't unsee what I saw in my dream, but I'm certain it's just the fragments of my anxiety pieced together in an awful scenario. It's only frightening so far as it's grounded in reality.
Just gonna try to be more mindful of how I interact with people, and take better care of myself, and hopefully with time and some improvement on my self-image I'll feel a little bit less like I'm perpetually unwelcome.